Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in can_di_lover's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, August 2nd, 2007
5:58 pm	So I'm back online. I can't post for very long though. I'm getting tired of staring at a computer screen more quickly today. So this will be short. I thought about writing a letter. I'm sad and I don't know how to cope with it. There is the underlying problem in my life and I haven't the slighest idea how to remedy the pain and the inner tomermet beneath it... or rather, I don't know how to approach the problem. I can tell it's delicate, but anything I say might fall of deaf ears and a determined and foolish notion to ignore what I want... no, what I need to say about it. Yet, yet... how to say it in so little words, and so few? I don't really need to talk.... I don't need to make a summary of years' worth of hurt, and yet still day by day I can feel it. I need to let the other one know, lest I burst or hurt myself and others in the process. And I don't want to hurt anyone. I never did. I ended up hurting myself nonetheless. I still will start anew with this livejournal, but lately I'm at a dilemma. To speak or not to speak; to defy the self-reproach of holding back my tongue while others, including my mother, tell me to let it out... I fear I might fail this test unless I do something, and yet it feels as if my only choices are worse or even worse in approaching it... like being served soup and given your only utensils as a dinner fork or a salad fork, and the spoon has been tossed away. I also want to stop using MSN Messenger. Not stay offline for a week or two. I mean... stop using it altogether. That is also a choice I have not made yet. It has greatly to do with the previous little article. I am happy, at least, that my mind has been creative whilst my hands have not been. New ideas pouring out of the immense boredom of the past week, all from doctor's orders. And today... I think I placed a new light on an old project. My worst feeling of failure: an incomplete project with the ending still unwritten. I think it's about time I wrote it out. Current Mood: calm outside, turmoil inside. (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 26th, 2007
8:54 am	A few thoughts.... Firstly I'm going offline for the next five days, not just on Messenger but away from my computer altogether. Secondly I'm considering making a fresh start by deleting my LJ and making a new username. This I feel I ought to do since this LJ contains some very nasty memories that I don't care to dig up. There are other thoughts but they are not fully formed, nor do I feel the need to share them. I'll be back online on the 2nd.  Current Mood: ambiguous (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 21st, 2007
11:21 pm	Day before bathtub races So the last while hasn't been too eventful until today. Just more housecleaning and then more games; you know, same old stuff. Today however, I gave my mom forty dollars so that she could buy for me my copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and then I went downtown for the parade and, later, the fireworks. I've been there since 10 am and I just got home about 10 or so minutes ago, and I've spent it all with Courtnay. We certainly made up for lost time when getting together was impossible in the last few months. We watched the parade, then made several trips to the mall and Tim Hortons as well as a walk around Swy-a-lana. We talked about anything and everything that came to our minds, varying from TV shows to school courses and from lemons to memories. Then I went and got us some snacks, but unfortunately the weather outside is obviously pouring railn; I still have the juice boxes and the salt and vinegar we were going to have, but didn't. Somehow our appetites for non-hot food and beverages left while we stood under a tree and waited for the fireworks. The Wave clearly stated that they would start at 9:30, but they lied. It was almost 10 when they started, or at least between 9:45 and 9:50. But they did happen, and it turned out to be an awesome show. It probably would have been better were it not raining, but meh. So yes, there is my latest post! I've missed Courtnay very much. We plan on watching Firefly next month, most likely when she returns from the wedding she's attending in Ontario. And I enjoyed writing this. Last thing of utmost importance to me: Jessi's 21st birthday is tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D Current Mood: happy (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 14th, 2007
10:35 pm	I drew another picture today. Not my best, but definitely something. The writing tends to take up the most space, but it made me chuckle at any rate. I've also started a new beginning for the Chocolar story which I really think is awesome, and I love how cleaning helped me with that again. It's made me think, too, that a title change is needed, since I'm honestly not sure that I want it to consist of a series... unless... if I make it into a series of plays or screenplays and not books. I can't say that I know a lot of writers who have written their scripts in this way (except when LOTR came out, but that's cause it's based on the novels), but I'm going to give it a shot. Slowly but surely it's forming into my mind more and more, and that's good news. The bad news is I still can't get those unwanted things out of my system, or my brain. I don't know what else to say about that part. Maybe when August or September rolls around I'll have figured something out for it, I can only hope. I've been thinking about stopping the use of Messenger, at least for a week or two. I'd certainly like to stop relying on text messaging so much; some of my worst memories have revolved around that, anyways. Not saying anything more about that either. I'm going to stop posting and listen to what music I have. It's not as abundant as the other libraries you guys have, but it's something. Bye for now. Current Mood: indescribable (Comment on this)
Friday, July 13th, 2007
10:53 pm	I don't particularly feel well. I'm not getting sick, but I'm not feeling like myself either. I think it's because one of my biggest problems hasn't been completely solved yet. It's like, I've done what I can, but then other things happen and now I'm really feeling uneasy and distrustful of what I'm being told. I know it sounds weird to you guys, but in a way to myself personally it makes sense... and then the other big problem is, I don't know how to talk about it even though I really want to. I don't think I can without feeling like I'm going to cry out, or become frustrated, above all I don't want to feel worse than I did before I started writing.  I guess what's bothering me are good memories... the kinds I need to be forgetting, otherwise I'll be hurt all over again, if that makes any sense. The fact that I do actually have a really good memory is both a blessing and a curse, and in the last few weeks it's been a curse. I know it doesn't make sense... or maybe it does, depending on who's reading this. Maybe I just need to hang out more with those who don't remind me of the memories, the same people I tend to write about, rave about (rave in the good way, obviously). At least with them I can forget for just a little bit longer. If you think this is a rambling post, you're right. What can I say? Housecleaning is no real means of conversation. Unless you actually want to hear me rant about owners who don't teach their healthy and capable teenagers how to clean their own mansion, I don't think my work is a stimulating topic. I'm pretty much just hoping this feeling of gloom mixed with nostalgia will pass over. I hope.  Current Mood: uncomfortable (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 8th, 2007
12:25 am	Good morning, world I'm so happy. After years of drawing nothing, or just drawing lines and erasing them, I have drawn two pictures on the napkins from the Fast Eddie's restaurant, while I celebrated Robyn's birthday with her and Brenna and Brodie, plus their friends Tom and Joleen.  The first was a cocoabo, which derives from my slur after three Sleemans Honey Browns and the idea of chocobos made of chocolate, like the bunnies from Easter. The second is of Brenna and Brodie, which to me looks terrible but considering that I'm not exactly sober and the drawing's in pen and on a napkin, it can also be considered art. This doesn't sound like much to the normal person. But for me, I have drawn nothing of my chibi characters, of the drunken wild mishaps of past companions or just one-page sketches of me and shenanigans, for about two full years, until this night... or rather about a few hours ago, since dinner was yesterday and not today, this morning. This may begin a new chapter of drawing, or it may not. Either way, I'm so happy that my confidence in the ability to be creative, at least in drawing and spur of the moment skits, has come back, if even only for a short period of time. Current Mood: rejuvenated (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 5th, 2007
7:41 am	:D ***HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROBYN!!!!!!*** Current Mood: chipper (Comment on this)
Friday, June 29th, 2007
5:15 am	Well. That's great. 5:15 am? 5:15 am?! Stupid time zone change! This is what happens when you stay in a province for six days when the sun is up at... oh, 3 am pretty much. Can't sleep anymore, though I guess I should, it's friday after all. (I'm talking about work.) The rest of my visit was relaxing, and I did some hardcore reading. It was so rewarding; I can't remember reading at the pace I did before I started going to school again. And they were awesome fantasy novels. There was Blood Bound, which is a sequel to a book named Moon Called, by Patricia Briggs; think Robin McKinley's Sunshine, except the occupation of the female protagonist is a mechanic who actually has the ability to shapeshift, raised by werewolves and the formerly mentioned fantasy creature is more focused on than the vampires which inhabit this world too. Other books I read were a few Mercedes Lackey fantasies, although they're categorized as harlequin novels (they're still fantasy at the core however), called "One Good Knight" and "Fortune's Fool"; another one she's written before "One Good Knight" and is first in this series called The Heralds of Valdemar is "The Fairy Godmother". Basically these books are faerie tales except the characters find themselves trying to avoid The Tradition (the weak damsel in distress marrying the hero at the end of the book, the evil dragon figure, the knight being a male champion, etc.). They're only harlequin because of the sex scenes or sexuality (which is fine by me) that take place within the story; "Fortune's Fool" and I heard "The Fairy Godmother" have the scenes, whereas "One Good Knight" has the mentioned one. Check them out when you can, they're awesome. Moving on... that was pretty much what I did in the time I was there, cause it's Saskatchewan and there's really not much to do, to be honest. I did play crib for the first time, which I didn't exactly warm up to, and Mexican Train (a dominos game) which I do enjoy. I also drank a lot and ate a lot, which I missed sorely yesterday when I only had a muffin to eat before dinner and lots of coffee. The only thing that's really confusing me is a phone number that's not in my phone's booklet, number 734-2396; anyone here own that number and want to reveal themselves? I'll feel better if you do. Anyway, yeah, sorry for being lazy with updating, the books are what kept me away from the computer. I think I'll go back to bed now. Current Mood: blank (Comment on this)
Friday, June 22nd, 2007
8:33 am	Just so everybody knows, I'm heading out to Vancouver today and then to Saskatchewan to see my cousin get married; I'll be gone for five days, late Wednesday night is when I get home. I may or may not update for a while, unless Jessie and Susie happen to let me use their computer... which I may use for gaming (Yep, I'm predictable.), but if I can I'll post something while I'm over there. I haven't heard anything about Dublin that's bad news, so I can only assume he's still in the hospital and not getting better but not getting worse; nothing has been made known as of yet. Still a little worried though. Chocolar is coming along great, I've got character profiles written up and I'm working on the plot and obstacles that my characters go through. Ah, fantasy... you're so much fun to play with! Anyway, I need to get myself coffee, take care of some laundry, and then pack. Bye guys. Current Mood: busy (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 19th, 2007
9:10 am	Oh nooooo I just heard from mom that grandma called, Dublin's in the hospital. He's only about one year old, my second cousin. His lungs have collapsed, he has asthma and his body isn't responding to the medication. I'll find out more later from either grandma again or my aunt. Poor Heather, and right before my family leaves for Lori's wedding too :(  Current Mood: worried (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 17th, 2007
1:40 pm	Change of heart. Here, ten facts. (Was tagged by Court.) I'll let others tag if they want, I don't have ten people to tag myself.  *** "Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/habits/little-known facts about themselves. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird habits/things/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks." 1. I'm terrible at math even though I'm autistic. One time a friend of my friend was in the bar with us and he quipped how much he'd love to be autistic because he thought they were spectacular at math. I countered him immediately. I can't stand math, it was one of the subjects I failed horrifically at in high school. Not just the teacher, but the stuff he was trying to teach made no freaking sense to me. 2. I enjoy organizing books and DVDs in my spare time. I tend to try and place books where they belong in a store or at the library, especially the latter. Some of the books at the one in Country Club are really out of order. 3. I can wink both eyes. My opa taught me when I was little. 4. My opinion about children changes from day to day. One day I love seeing babies, the next day I hate all the kids in the generation below mine and when I can't sleep, and there's one in the background who can't help but make themselves noticed. I don't think I'll be a very good mother if that keeps happening to me after I have my own kid, and I sure as hell don't want to find out for sure right now. 5. I am just not a dog person at all. I've seen a lot of cute and attractive dogs, but I cannot bring myself to live with any. I'm a cat person through and through. 6. I'll eat sushi only if the fish in it is cooked, not raw like how they usually serve it. 7. I'm terrified of bees and wasps flying around me in the open, but if they're behind glass I'm just utterly fascinated by them. It's showing in my major project, since one of the kinds of my creatures happen to take from bees. 8. I've had more crushes on cartoon anthropomorphs than I have on cartoon and/or real-life humans. No names for you guys. 9. I've never had a real boyfriend in my life. Not even the person I like was ever my boyfriend, even though I wanted so badly for him to be. It's mostly my fault. That, and perhaps I'm too happy being single or I'm picky and can't just date any guy at random. 10. The thing that pisses me off to no end is reading about, hearing or witnessing somebody complaining about not having sex for such-and-such a time period, or that they can't have sex in such-and-such a place because they know it will bother other people. Those peope are ignorant of the fact that I am listening to their complaints and I happen to still be a virgin. Yes, I'm a virgin at 20 and I'll be 21 in a few months. You have a problem with that? Tough. The world won't explode if you keep your legs closed for a few seconds anyway. * There's your 10 facts, I may post something else later. Current Mood: irritated (Comment on this)
Friday, June 15th, 2007
7:54 am	I'm pretty glum... all the bullshit that revolved around high school has just been kicking me in the face for the last two weeks. I should have never gone to that school play at all. Even if there were good memories, the really really really ambivalent ones have done nothing save for torture me. I know a lot of people tell me to move on, it's over, but I'm not like other people, which is why I've constantly felt this way. No one's told me how to get over things, or how to completely forget... it's just not possible with my brain. It's been made to remember so much. Now it just seems I'm seeing the cons that come with it. My dream last night was not a comforting one. In it I saw people, one who I want to stop thinking about but can't, the other one who I can't bear to look at any more from guilt, from shame. And then they went away from the dream and an incredibly positive influence in my life came into it, but when I woke up I didn't feel any good at all. I don't need an analysis to tell me what it means, it's only my regurgitated tortured emotions branded into my subconscious.  I miss Jessi. A lot. I don't even think Robyn or Brenna or any of the people I spend time with these days understand how much it means to me to spend time with them; they've brought out the best in me all over again. I can feel like me and not some accused thing I don't want to become. So sue me if I've turned into a technological junkie who likes texting people; there's no way of telling whether people get phone calls or not, at least not anymore. No one phones back to say they got the message, in fact for me I get practically zip response from a select few. Go figure that makes me something hated for trying to reach out when I'm feeling my lowest. I don't feel like writing any more. I have to work soon anyways. Current Mood: internally frustrated (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 12th, 2007
2:19 pm	I'm angry, self-loathing, and full of hate, even despair and hopelessness. And it hurts like fucking hell. End of post. Current Mood: bitchy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 7th, 2007
9:28 pm	Well, there's something I never want to go back to. So I just got back from this play my boss' daughter is in, I went with Dagmar and Jen to see it. A high school play, at Woodlands, about high school. Right from the start I wished so badly that I had drunk alcohol before then.  See, high school, as I've pointed out many times, has caused me more painful memories than I really want to recall right this second. That, and as soon as the people started singing it made me want my beer even more. The play was a mish-mash, hacked up mess that focused more on identifying the cliques and stereotypes found within the enclosed and smelly hallways of a high school building. And that's just describing the audience, not just the cast. I seriously saw identical twins of people from my high school, from the random guy with blond dreadlocks to the tech helper and the teacher/possibly director who, when he spoke, sounded as if he'd smoked something since he stumbled on his words and acted a bit disoriented towards the audience. The desire for my alcohol did not fully register until said teacher/possible director began to talk about rules of conduct which, in fact, does not apply anymore to Malaspina. And THANK GODS for that. Right down to the "Turn off the cell phones, it'll interfere with our equipment," and "We need you to be absolutely still in your seats, you can laugh and make little comments to the person sitting beside you, but you have to remain still." The urge to be drunk and tossing full and open beer cans at anything in a short skirt and blond hair was very powerful indeed. There were no key components to the play that would ever convince me to come back a second night, which is good because it's made me realize the difference between an excellent play and a horrible play, plus an excellent group of singers and a horrible one. There was a story behind the play, but there was nothing exciting. No fireworks between the characters, and plastic faces with no feeling, no passion behind the actions. Any character development you ask? Nope, it was non-existent. A bunch of scenes, like the English class where people start to bang garbage cans and dance on desks while the teacher's back is turned, were completely unnecessary and had absolutely zero reference to what little of the story they were trying to hold up on stilts. They relied on one of the "nerds" to comic relief for the most part of the play, and the improv scene addition in act two (and improv usually gets me smiling) was nothing short of complete and total disappointment in its necessity to the plot.  The singing was ATROCIOUS, especially the main female protagonist, and the songs? Disney's The Little Mermaid AND Beauty and the Beast AND The Scarecrow's song in The Wizard of Oz AND Sweet's Ballroom Blitz AND Leaving on a Jet Plane AND Grease's grand finale song are NOT meant to be butchered the way they were in the mess they consider to be "a wonderful play".  Where was the tension between the characters? Where was the spark of attention that keeps me gripped and wanting more? They didn't exist. I've learned how to make a play good. This was not good. My six dollars could have gone to birthday liquor (sort of) or Snickers bars. Or more Sleeman Honey Brown. Which I'm happily drinking. UNIVERSITY KICKS ASS BITCHES. Current Mood: blah (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, June 1st, 2007
9:17 pm	Not much has happened, just the usual cleaning houses. However, I found Red Dwarf on youtube and am catching up with episodes I never saw, not even the ones we have on tape (which I realize is all on DVD obviously, the only difference is visual quality). It turns out though that I've never fully seen all of season one and there's only a few episodes from season two on tape; the only episode of season one is "The End" but that's it. I've also never seen the episode that comes after "Out of TIme" and it's tormented me throughout my childhood; okay, so I'm fully aware that a series seven and eight followed series six which is the last season my parents taped on VHS, but I can't know what actually happens to the crew until I see it myself; does that make sense? I don't know, but I still want to find out anyway. The good thing is that the episodes I found are full episodes albeit spliced into thirds, unlike some clips where they're only scenes and favourite moments, so I'm catching up to my better memories right now. Anyway, I know this isn't a real post or anything, it's just me gushing about Red Dwarf because it's one of my favourite shows. I don't think anything really significant will happen until and then after Lori's wedding. I might post something then, maybe something earlier if I'm lucky and something truly significant happens. We'll see. Current Mood: nostalgic (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007
7:22 pm	I know, I know, everyone has done this already. But you know, my shuffle selection on the iPod is so damn random that I decided to cave in and give it a shot. If anything it's to get a laugh out of people. Other than that, I'm not feeling great, emotionally. It has to do with what today is more than anything, but, I just don't feel up to writing about it.  So you get something weird instead of gloomy and possibly emo-sounding. Aren't I so nice? *** 1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc) 2. Put it on shuffle 3. Press play 4. For every question, type the song that's playing 5. When you go to a new question, press the next button 6. Don't lie. Opening Credits: Katamari Stars (Katamari Damacy OST) Birth: Sasasan Katamari (We Love Katamari OST) First Day at School: Slew of Love Letters (FF9 OST) Falling in Love: Daughter of the High Summoner (FFX OST) Fight Song: A Great Success (FF7 OST) Breaking Up: None But the Lonely Heart - Junko Nishi (We Love Katamari OST) School Dance: Fithos Lusec Wecos Hinosec (FF8 OST) Life: That's Your Horoscope For Today - Weird Al Yankovic Mental Breakdown: Riding the Shoopuf (FFX OST) Driving: Blue Orb (We Love Katamari OST) Flashback: Melodies of Life (in Japanese - FF9 OST) Wedding: The Royal Academy of Katamari (We Love Katamari OST) Birth of Child: Opening ~ Bombing Mission (FF7 OST) Final Battle: Zidane's Theme (FF9 OST) Death Scene: Game Over (FF9 OST) Funeral: Hopeless Desire (FFX OST) Ending Credits: Fanfare (FF9 OST) Current Mood: glum (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 20th, 2007
9:54 am	Writing ideas! Okay, so out of nowhere while I'm cleaning, my muse comes back and I've been working on a new writing project. It's also introduced me to some other ideas I've had for a while, but not decided to develop more. Now I'm working on my mythopeia plus some other new ideas that I've started/want to get started. So the list goes as thusly: - Chocolar Chapters (in progress, may take a while...) - Heroes: The Unaired Parody Episode - Lemony Snicket: A Drama of Unfortunate Events (AKA Lemony Snicket's first three books as an audio script.) - Bone in audio drama script form (based on the comic books by Jeff Smith) - A new Pokemon fanfic script for TV with the New Team Rocket (Sarah knows what I'm talking about.) - "Kitty" (A play about two sisters, which started out as exercises from 341 Stage writing; title may change also) - first draft of a Calvin and Hobbes movie (REALLY rough idea, but I have ideas for a beginning and ending, so...) That's about it for ideas. So far the first two are actually in the works, the rest I'll have to get started on. Pretty much this whole post was to share the excitement of my recovering my muse.  And now I will watch the downloaded Heroes episodes that I have not seen yet, after indulging in Weird Al music. Current Mood: creative (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 11th, 2007
6:33 pm	Hey Robyn? One of the books from your children's lit classes is being made into a film! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0484562/ And so is Airborn! Though, for the latter, it's kind of in hiatus right now. I'm doing good today, I finally got ahold of Firefly! I won't watch it all until Courtnay and I hang out at my place; I promised her. Granted, I ended up watching the pilot episode with Robyn, Brenna and Brodie at Brodie's place, plus my first episode that got me interested kind of flew over my head... but still! I'll watch the pilot with Court still, I'll just keep an eye out for all her special LJ icons that pop up (I noticed, what, almost ten of them in the pilot? Pretty much?). I had to force myself not to purchase this kickass wall scroll though; I need a trim and a redux on my highlights, and I need to pay Mariah to get it done by her strictly. So having cash is good. I had to work hard today, I had to wash walls even! Plus I've had so little food all day; just a muffin, a banana and soon a Snickers bar, maybe after an actual dinner. The rest was just coffee and chai tea, which I'm drinking right now. But anyways, it's good exercise! And I'll be working by Westwood Lake this weekend, methinks, with Kathy. Plans next week include working, buying that wall scroll (cause hey, with the housecleaning I have money on my card again), hopefully getting my hair done and maybe seeing Spiderman 3, cause I still really want to see it. Plus Sunday I need to make breakfast, and I need to get to Brenna and hopefully bake S'more cheescake cupcakes and give them to her as a belated birthday gift. I feel kind of badly for not doing that yet. There's my post for ya. Current Mood: cheerful (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 10th, 2007
8:42 am	Thoughts I'm making this a short one, I have to go to work soon. Am I the only one who's uncomfortable whenever I hear someone my age tell me, "By the way, I'm expecting"? (I'm talking about kids). Seriously, it's like so often now that I either hear about or see people around my age or higher to suddenly up and get married, or have a kid. People my age or YOUNGER who suddenly have the biological urge to give birth. More kids to beg for toys, demand food, demand attention, get everything they possibly can to have a good day, a good childhood. Some people can do a really good job at parenting I guess, considering whether they're ready or just love kids in general. If they're not then why the hell wasn't a condom used in the first place to prevent it from happening?  I know I'm treading around something I really don't know a lot about, but that's because even biologically speaking I'm ready to have kids pop out of me, mentally I both don't want to and don't give a shit. I hate that when I hear about either marriage or kids, I feel like someone's trying to peer pressure me into doing the same thing without saying a word. Maybe I'm paranoid or I sound really old-fashioned for some people, but I don't see what the huge deal is about online dating, getting married or having a family of any kind. Is something wrong with me for not wanting any of those right now? While people my age are having kids I'm trying to go to school and do something with my life, follow the passions I have and recollect the good things from my life. Is it so wrong to want that instead of increasing the population crisis we're undergoing, both in the Americas and the entire world? Aren't we supporting worse things that are happening globally by spending thousands of dollars on newborns, or destroying whatever food we can actually grow and reproduce by having more people asking for food?  Either I'm insane for not wanting a kid or a date ni my life right now or the world's insane for wanting people to destroy this planet. And as awesome as that new planet they found a few weeks ago sounds, it makes me worried that by trying to reach it we end up treating something new with the same bastardized issues that are happening all around us. Am I crazy for thinking it's a bad thing we find a new planet for fear that we'll treat it the same way we're treating earth? I know I wish I could do something, the problem is no one knows exactly what to do about any of this. I have to leave now, it's time for work. ETA: Yup, if anything turned me off from the sudden biological urge to have kids, it's baby-sitting. Mind you, Genevive (my dad's friend's daughter, age two) is cute, and she was good, but then fifteen minutes before they got home she needed to be changed; she wasn't used to me and then she starting crying and I had no idea that she's not used to me, just to her mom only; but I didn't know that, so when she started to actually cry I had no idea what to do next and it kind of led to me panicking a little bit. Now that I know she's not used to me though, I'm not so feeling bad about it any more. In closing, it was fun for a while, but I seriously cannot see myself doing that in my life right now... especially right now, because they may be sweet but my eyes and heart are targeted towards something else in life. And I'm done, because i need to eat pizza because I've had nothing to eat but coffee, part of a bagel with strawberry cream cheese and a banana all day today. Aaaaaand now I'm out. Current Mood: really exhausted (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 26th, 2007
10:49 pm	Going down Nostalgia Lane (my destination for the summer) Good day today and yesterday. Got to see Jessi, and I got a gift from her - Alice in Wonderland pajamas! They're buttery yellow and the pants have pale violet pinstripes; really cute :) Spent a couple of hours with her, went for a walk on the beach and we played with Sparky and Hobbes for a bit, so that was cool. I earned some more money by housecleaning and came home to curried chicken and fresh air - the last house we cleaned was being painted, plus the couple who lives there smokes... so yeah, I was happy that we weren't there for too long like last week, the fumes were making me so woozy. As for the title reference, I've been looking up things from my childhood - something I decided to do different this summer is a) find and rent/download films that are considered masterpieces and see them for myself - you name things like The Excorcist, The Shining, The Godfather Trilogy, etc. it's probably something I've never seen entirely though I've gotten cultural references from The Simpsons and Frisky Dingo (two of my favourite shows as of late); and then b) find and re-gather all the old kids' cartoon shows and movies which I did see in my childhood.  Tonight I finally saw Samurai Pizza Cats, and oh my goodness. What a cute show. Sure it's early 1990's, but the beautiful part is that I'm almost 21 and I still get a huge kick out of these kinds of things. One of my favourite lines so far is from Big Cheese; whenever he loses his temper he explodes (he's some kind of robot but his animal species is a fox.. ah, anime goodness all around!), and after one time he says "I'll have them eating right out of my hands... speaking of, has anyone seen my hand?"  I'll catch up and find more episodes in the next few days; nice thing about my new job is that I get time off in the evenings. Anyway, the next thing I rediscovered was Tom and Jerry: The Movie... I'm taking a break from it because even though the songs are cleverly written, a few of the voice actors aren't exactly great singers... I'm looking specifically at the woman who plays Aunt Figg, the main antagonist. *shudders, then laughs after imagining Jessi's expression* I must say though, she's an effective villain because the instant you see her you feel absolute loathing for her... she's just so ugly and fat that way. Hmm... makes me think of discussion from second year about the designs of villains in comic books and in Disney films. Meh.  I also rediscovered that the little girl in the film whom Tom and Jerry become friends with is named Robyn... and her last name begins with Star... Robyn Starling is her full name. One guess to whom I thought of instantly when I heard that, even if the last name is different :D That's pretty much all I have to say right now, I have to turn in early.. gotta work at 8:30. Later peeps. Current Mood: chipper (2 Comments |Comment on this)